From My Book Divine Design: Chapter 12, Ride Your Horse

Chapter 12

Ride Your Horse

“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war. 12 His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. 13 He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. 14 The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. 15 Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. ‘He will rule them with an iron scepter.’ He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. 16 On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written:

king of kings and lord of lords” (Revelations 19:11-16).

Refine Me

I was at the movie theater watching Frozen II, and Jesus showed up through the loudspeaker. Through what appeared to be a simple children’s movie, I received a very visual encounter as I listened to the Holy Spirit narrate through Elsa and a horse. Yes, you read that right… I heard Jesus through watching Elsa and a horse! Let me provide some context, because I can imagine you may be needing some at this point. 

As I sat in the theater, the movie had reached a point where Elsa was in despair as she was fighting to get to the island where her sister was. With her powers, she would freeze the water, so that she could run across to the island. Just as this would start to work for her, a wave would come and knock her down, and in result, break up the ice that she had frozen to help her get across. All of the sudden, the scene revealed a “water horse” that came up out of the water. The horse didn’t come out to rescue Elsa though, shockingly, it came out in a fury to take Elsa under the water, as if to drown her. Again and again, Elsa would attempt to climb onto the horse, perhaps for safety, but instead, the horse would buck her off. Finally, in the midst of this chaos, Elsa created a lasso and put it around the horse. With the lasso, she pulled back on its reins, and the horse began to run at a steady pace. After quite the fight, the horse finally submitted to Elsa. Then of course, the music thematically begins to soften. The horse peacefully leaves and gallops across the ocean to the island to save Elsa’s sister. Quite the change in heart that horse had, huh?

I was sitting there in the movie theater, stunned, as I was encountering Jesus through this Frozen II scene. It all started to make sense. Much like Elsa, my gifts, my wiring, my passions always felt like they were getting me into trouble. No matter how hard I tried, I always felt like my gifts and passions were freezing the ice, only to have it broken beneath my feet. I always felt like there was a horse coming up from under the water, trying to drown me in my passions and gifts. I knew I had the power, I knew I had the giftings (or like Elsa, I knew I could freeze the ice), but I always felt suffocated by them. The entire Frozen visual made me realize that until I took these parts of me and refined them by what He has to say, like the horse, they would always hold the power to take me under. 

Learn to Ride

The whole horse visual really got me thinking, too. Lord, I said, teach me to ride. I meant spiritually, of course, but I naturally wanted to learn, too. I reached out to a prior bridal client of mine, knowing she had plenty of knowledge and experience with horses, and I asked her if she would teach me how to ride a horse. She graciously said yes, and I spent a year with her in the barn soaking up anything I could learn about horseback riding. 

I pictured learning to ride a horse to be relaxing, almost like a breeze. With this in mind, I opted to learn the horseback riding craft by using an older, already trained horse. I thought that because of her older age and prior training, this older horse would be sweet and would easily listen to me as I learned. However, I was far from wrong. Instead of my learning experience being an easy, relaxing breeze, and this specific mare I chose being easy going, this mare proved herself to be more like a sour patch kid. You know, first sour, then sweet? I kid you not, this horse would purposely try to see what she could get away with. Even if we were just in a simple walk, if I gave her a half of an inch of control or ease, she would take three miles. Basically, she was the opposite of easy going, and really proved to me that learning this “horse thing” would be more of a challenge than I had anticipated. 

One day, I was working closely with her, practicing a circle trot, and this horse bucked me. Being new to horseback riding, this really shook me. I became genuinely afraid of her after feeling her thousand pound body try to knock me off. You know what they say, though “Get back on your horse!” This cliche saying came to life really quickly for me, as my friend made me literally get back onto this horse and immediately take her back into the same exact trot that she had knocked me out of. I wasn’t allowed any time to lay down and be afraid. So surely enough, I listened to my instructor, and I took the horse right back into the same trot, but this time with more control. Terrifyingly, she tried to buck me off of her, again! That was it for me. Get me off of this horse! My fear was growing by the minute, but my friend calmly instructed me to do it again, do it until she submits to you! My entire body felt like a cramp as I was holding the reins one way, feet strong in my stirrups and my leg pressed against her. I was terrified, felt out of place, but in the midst of this fear, I was determined to get this horse to submit to me. I knew where I was taking us, and if the horse listened to me, we could both enjoy the ride.  As I was riding this horse for the third time, I heard the Holy Spirit. Through this lesson, He was amplifying what He had been speaking to me. This horseback riding lesson became less about horseback riding, and more about studying a visual about learning how to ride my spiritual gifts.

Gift Submits

Like this mare, I can intend to appear one way, but come across a completely different way. The mare’s age and experience could have been used to our benefit, but instead, these positive assets seemed to present themselves through stubbornness and aggression. It really got me thinking: My mantle, wiring, and gifting can either build legacy, or bring devastation. I am a passionate person, and with that, I can either light the world on fire, or burn the house down. Through this horseback riding experience, I learned that my gifts wouldn’t burn the house down, or look like a bucking mare, if I brought them before Jesus and asked how to ride them.

With this fresh realization and these visuals, I sought out teachings on identity, authority, and giftings, and I surrounded myself with people who knew more than me. I could feel the inner workings of my heart begin to submit, as I had more understanding of how God designed me. The tension was cut, the reins were pulled, and for once, the horse (me) was able to submit to direction and provide a smooth, enjoyable ride.

Once the light turned on in this area, it didn’t turn off. Once I got on this horse, I didn’t get off. I found a new desire to connect others to their creator, so that they could learn how to ride, too. I wanted everyone to understand that they no longer needed to medicate, shame, or denounce their gifts. If I heard someone talking about being so empathic, and how they struggled to be in a room with other people because they picked up other people’s emotions, I would encourage them to tug on the reins and realize that maybe they were made to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit instead, and release the Word of the Lord in their realm of influence. Boom. Ride your horse.

 I watched one of my best friends struggle with ADD. Once she realized that her attention was not at a deficit as the world would label it, but at extra heights, I watched her put placements of structure around her so that she could take her gift and use it for good. Once positively focusing on her gift, on how she was made, and choosing to use it for good instead of just chalking herself up under another label, she started reaching many people within her realm of influence. She wasn’t distracted, but she’d have idea after idea, insight after insight. Though the horse was trying so hard to buck her off, she refocused, dusted off her bootstraps, and got up and rode her horse.

As I began to know Him more, I understood who I was better. My value for who people are and what they carry began to blossom. Don’t allow your giftings to be mislabeled or used against you. Don’t place yourself around people who can’t help you properly tame your gifts, even if it’s hard. Know the difference between what the world will call your gift, and what God says about your gift. Connect to your creator, focus on the reins, and learn to ride your horse.