The first Chapter of my book: Divine Design, Turn Around

Chapter 1

Turn Around

I remember standing in my bathroom, just a few years ago, mindlessly staring into the mirror looking over my body. All I felt as I stood there was the ache of shame for eating whatever had owned me the evening before. There I was, looking at my body as if a clump of fat cells just magically popped up from twelve hours before. News flash: It didn’t.  Regardless, it was one of those moments of recommitting myself to discipline, and oh yeah, if I just felt badly long enough, I would be skinny again. That’s all it was, a self discipline problem, right? Or was it something much deeper, something much more hidden?

I have felt that hidden demon of self loathing since I was four years old. It always found me and told me the same story, it always met me in the bathroom to cover what I saw in the mirror with lies; but this time it was different. I felt like in that moment, after so many years of torment, Jesus exposed what was really going on. I didn’t have to sit there and take on that torment any longer. Realizing this, I opened my mouth and boldly declared, ”I am not going to be pushed around anymore, get off of me.” Right then and there, the demon fell off of me. I didn’t have to caress its thoughts and make them my own anymore. It was a self loathing spirit disguising itself as a self discipline problem.  The plan that haunts most women and little girls was set out to destroy the image of what God created me to be, lost my agreement, and within that moment I realized that my agreement was all it ever had.

  It doesn’t take a mirror to expose to us that the enemy is a liar and a deceiver. He goes after our identity. Trust me when I say, I don’t really enjoy talking about the enemy’s nonsense, but I do really enjoy exposing his plan. And he has one plan: to Steal. Kill. Destroy (John 10:10).  A cracked door where we are misidentified, or insecure, leaves an opening for the enemy’s lies to slide in and stick to us. It’s time that we shut these doors and recognize that for him to steal, there has to be something valuable, and it’s you. You’re the masterpiece made in the image of God that the enemy is after.  He wants to steal who you are, what you are, and what you were made to release from Heaven. He’ll meet you in the mirror to distract you from the power that is within you. 

The real truth, though, is that God made everything that we see by His spoken word, and you, my friend, are His spoken word. You have a treasure that God hid within you and it’s your glory to unveil as you walk with your Lord face to face, and hand in hand. The Bible describes the enemy as the father of lies, no truth resides in him (John 8:44), so when the enemy speaks to you and over you, when he meets you in the bathroom to distort what you see in the mirror, know that he is always lying to you. 

Predictable Strategies

Once you realize the enemy’s tactics, you realize how predictable he is, and once you realize that, all his power is lost. The only power that the enemy has is your agreement, so the minute he loses that, it’s game over for him. We must always be on guard, because if he can lie to you about how you were created, or how you were designed, the ball can get rolling into the first entry point of deception.       

Speaking of predictable… Let me guess, you probably have dealt with something similar. Were your eyes too far apart, or too close together? Were you too skinny? A little chubby? Not smart enough? Too smart? A little backwards? Really afraid? Extra anxious? Did you hate your skin tone? Never fit in? Have you always found yourself standing out? Maybe you are completely beautiful, but you have never known what it was for? The list can go on. Sounds too familiar, am I right? And we think this part is the stumbling block, but that’s just the little stones, that’s where the lies creep in.

 If I was the enemy, I would identify the best parts about you, and assign a specific person to spew negativity all over those specific parts to get you to run and hide. Then, I would send someone else to make you believe that there wasn’t anything special, brilliant, or beautiful about you. If I were the enemy, I would drive those lies into you so that you easily accepted any counterfeit, artificial identity, so that you would never get to ride out your entire gifts. I would keep you unknown, lost, and a slave to whatever dulled your pain.              

Offense 

Once the lies creep in, they demand our agreement. Overtime, we agree with the lies, and the lies result in offense. Do you know what offense actually means? In Hebrew, under Strong’s definition: 

“A stumbling-block, literally or figuratively (obstacle, enticement (specifically an idol), scruple:- cause to fall , offense, (no-) thing offered, ruin, stumbling-block.”

Stumbling Block

I watched my son, a wrestler, as he was headed to compete in the state level wrestling tournament. I watched the enemy strategically send specific people to sow seeds of doubt and insignificance into his mind, to create offense, and to ultimately create a stumbling block to keep him from victory. Don’t worry, he won state as an eleven year old and those same people still wouldn’t clap for him. Why? Because they saw the gift on him, they just were sent with a word to kill it. 

I’ve watched the enemy’s tactic of offense creep in with my daughter, too. Once, three different people called my daughter within the same week to degrade her looks. As a thirteen year old, those words can stick with you for the rest of your life. Instead of allowing offense to create a stronghold, you can bet that instead we immediately exposed the hell out of every single lie these people were spewing towards her, and we called out her beauty for what it was. As a young believer, she was in a pivotal season of busting through and breaking through to further experience God’s goodness for her, and the enemy started to freak out. He wanted to throw her off course. But when the enemy’s predictable plan is exposed, it’s ruined. My daughter continued to reach new revelations, continued breaking through, and learned to embrace her divinely designed beauty.

Part of God’s plan for my life was to become a makeup artist, which would then allow me a platform to identify and speak life into the women He had divinely designed. The enemy didn’t like that plan, so you can only imagine that number of people he used to call me fat and pick apart my looks, to try to throw me off course. Yawn. Too predictable. Offense is the most common weapon the enemy uses because he can hide behind a person, and cause you to hate a face other than his. If his face isn’t exposed in the lie, he gets to keep lying. But remember, when we expose the enemy’s plan, it holds no weight on us.  He wants us caught up in what people say to us, so there becomes a stumbling block that only leads to bitterness, and will get you to repeat the same words over someone else’s life. Offense is a never ending cycle, a constant tactic by the enemy that wants to keep you from discovering how divinely designed you truly are. Through Jesus, offense can end with you. 

Deception

Your strategic enemy knows when to slide in a contract of despair, and he definitely makes sure he sends enough people to vomit up the lies before he slides in the pen to sign.  It all becomes cloudy and confusing, and that’s the point, that’s his plan. The Bible says that where envy and strife are, there is confusion and every evil work (James 3:16). The filter of false identity attaches to your mindseye, so that when you speak, you regurgitate the enemy’s lies. 

Filters

A few years ago, I had a bride’s makeup trial. I took a picture of her make up at the end of the bridal session, in natural light. Later that day, she had taken and edited pictures of herself with a dark brown, and what appeared to be orange, preset. 

She contacted me and said, “Hey, I think my makeup is too dark. We need to go lighter.” 

 I sent her back the picture of the natural, unedited photo. 

I responded, “Your filter, or the preset, is dark, brown, and orange, but that isn’t the reality.” 

The filter of his lies, just like the filter or preset in this bride’s photo, changes your entire view of who you really are. When you remove these filters and these presets – or the enemy’s confusion and the enemy’s lies – you will be able to actually see yourself for who you really are, in the light you were intended to shine. 

Sin Lies

The enemy’s next strategy is sin. Sin is not usually a popular topic, but when you love someone, you pull out all the arrows. So let me tell you…sin can certainly become a daggering arrow. Sin is deceiving, meaning it looks really great, but it opens the door for more stealing, killing, and more destruction (John 10:10) by the enemy. 

Sin will rob you. It robs you of your time, your identity…the list goes on. It makes you take off your favorite outfits and hide under that sweatshirt with canceled plans because you just didn’t get an “A” that day on perfection when staring into the mirror. Sin entraps and enslaves you, and that master isn’t God.  We’ve been there, we have tasted that fruit, and have found out just how rotten it was. Luckily, we aren’t made to stay there. Living in holiness is the antidote to the unnecessary pain sin causes. Jesus told the woman caught in adultery, “Be free and sin no more.”  His kindness identifies us and leads us right out of sin’s barren pits. We are an act of repentance away from walking in a different direction; He is so faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanses us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

The enemy is predictable, but Jesus isn’t. If you have an enemy to your design then you definitely have a creator to it. Even though God is referred to as mysterious, He died to make his ways known. Who God created us to be wasn’t supposed to stay hidden, and you weren’t designed to stay in your cave forever. Cut off the sin, walk over the offense, and let the lies fall off so that you can lock eyes with your maker.

“The one I love calls to me: Arise, my dearest. Hurry, my darling. Come away with me! I have come as you have asked to draw you to my heart and lead you out. For now is the time, my beautiful one. The season has changed, the bondage of your barren winter has ended, and the season of hiding is over and gone. The rains have soaked the earth and left it bright with blossoming flowers. The season for singing and pruning the vines has arrived. I hear the cooing of doves in our land, filling the air with songs to awaken you and guide you forth. Can you not discern this new day of destiny breaking forth around you? The early signs of my purposes and plans are bursting forth. The budding vines of new life are now blooming everywhere. The fragrance of their flowers whispers, “There is change in the air.” Arise, my love, my beautiful companion, and run with me to the higher place. For now is the time to arise and come away with me.” ‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭2‬:‭10‬-‭13‬ ‭TPT‬.